Starkiller
by Marie Writer
Summary: Atton and the Exile go on an errand run and get a little distracted at the bar - then they get back to the Hawk and things get a little messy. With Kreia messing with already fragile emotions and then add in a guilty conscious and things get a little messy. Can Julianna save Atton from his own self destruction?


_Inspired by Cally Starkiller's youtube videos, check her out her user name… thing is "Miss Starkiller" She has some REALLY awesome videos, including Atton and Exile vids._

_Dedicated to you Cal' since I can't seem to write anything else right now._

_Note: This whole one shot is based off of pictures I've seen of Atton. (example: when they are dancing, laughing in the hallway ect)_

_Enjoy!_

X.x.X.x

Juliaana was flipping through her holo pad endlessly, muttering things under her breath and it was starting to drive Atton crazy. "We have to go see this guy about the part we're missing for HK… then this guy needs help finding his fiancé who was kidnapped. Then-" She scrolled down and looked up at Atton. "Are you listening, we have to get this done today…"

Atton rolled his eyes. "Listen, Julie" Juliaana rolled her eyes, he was the only person in the world who didn't use her full name, or call her 'Exile'. "I just don't understand why you take it upon yourself to help these people." He said watching in front of him as they walked through Nar Shadda. "It's stressing you out too much."

Sighing Juliaana stepped through the door as it opened, into the next sector. "If I don't who will?"

"Who said they deserved the help?" He argued, his words causing her to stop and square off to him. "So are you saying I should have left you in your cell on Peragus and let you blow up?" her eyes were ice and gave him shivers. "Well…" He pulled his lips into a thin line. "Maybe you should have."

The young, but powerful Jedi frowned and scrunched up her face. "Why would you say something like that?" Atton closed his eyes to hide the fact that he rolled his eyes. "I need a drink." He said and began to walk away. "You think this conversation is done, think again Scoundrel!"

"Oh ho ho." He said turning around to face her, walking backwards to the nearby cantina. "I'm a scoundrel now?"

She held her head up high and stalked after him. "Yes" She said, her chin in the air. "and you always have been."

Clapping slowly he 'praised' her, "Very good, Sweetheart, you have figured me out."

Juliaana scoffed and looked away her eyes flashing to him momentarily he found himself on the floor. The mischievous Jedi snickered as she stepped over him and into the cantina tossing him a small wave and flipping her long black hair over her shoulder.

Unable to help it Atton Rand laughed and stood up and walked in after her, but by the time the doors opened again and he had stepped in she had already disappeared into the crowd. Running his hand through his thick hair and then down the side of his face he sighed and walked up to the bar. The human bartender greeted him, "Rand, the usual?" The frustrated man nodded and lowered his head into his hands.

"Rough day?" He asked as he handed him his drink. Atton laughed bitterly, "It's just a woman." Laughing the bartender nodded, "Loud n' clear… speaking of women, the one in the robes covered your drink already."

Atton looked up and glanced where the bartender was pointing and bit back a laugh and shook his head as the woman waved at him and winked. "Thanks" He muttered and the bartender nodded as the woman came over. "You didn't even try to look for me." She said, feigning hurt.

"I knew you'd find me." He looked at her, his eyebrow quirked. Pursing her lips she raised her head as she did before, chin in the air. "Hm" She said as she took a sip of her own drink.

He smirked at her before turning his head to the liquid he had in front of himself and stared at it. He frowned, deep in thought about the woman next to him. He was shaken from his stupor when said woman laughed from next to him. "And you said I was stressed." She said with a gentle smile.

The gunslinger looked over at her again, a frown etched in his features. When her smile turned into a frown to match his he regretted not playing it off as a joke like he always did. She placed her drink next to his and put a hand on his back carefully. "Julie…" he said quietly, the sounds of all the people and the music nearly drowning out his voice, she had to strain to hear him.

"What's going on Atton?" She asked her eyes studying his face carefully.

Where was he supposed to start, telling her he slayed her kind for a living only a few years ago? Or maybe that Kreia was using all of them? Perhaps the fact that he's still terrified she's going to be taken from him again. The fact that whenever he's not with her in battle he can't stop thinking about her… he was losing what sanity and stability he thought he had and he didn't know how to handle it other than silently blame the person he cared most for it all.

"Atton?" She called his name again, now one hand was on his shoulder blade while the other grasped his hand gently.

"Wanna dance?" he looked over at her, a smirk on his face.

She frowned and let out a deep breath, studying his face briefly but nodded, "Yeah"

The music seemed to get louder as the two companions walked onto the dance floor, twileks dancing around sensually and men of all races going bug eyed over them and the other women dancers. However, this time, Atton kept his eyes on the Jedi in front of him as she began to sway back and forth to the music.

Smirking, Atton started to move with her his arms outstretched and almost doing the wave. Juliaana giggled at his antics and threw her arms in the air and started to dance more and more like one of the dancers making Atton go serious, watching her as she spun around, her arms still in the air and in, almost, ballet movements.

In battle she was brutal, quick… deadly. But the same hands that had killed endless sith, bounty hunters, and just flat out bad guys were no delicate and smooth, like a practiced dancer. He moves made Atton feel quiet and calm, no witty comebacks or smart ass comments – he just watched, while doing his best to keep up with her.

When the song ended and it went into the next song Juliaana smiled, "thanks for the dance, Shooter."

Nodding he smiled, "Thanks for the drink."

"You needed it" She laughed and tucked her hair behind her ear. "But I think we should get back to work."

He nodded again, "Yeah"

Together the two walked out, as they went about their day: running errands, talking to beggars, talking to merchants, buying, selling, and trading they continued to have fun.

As they were walking back Atton smiled and looked over to her, "So where'd a Jedi learn to dance like that?" She grinned and straightened out her off white robes, "Well as you already know… I'm kinda a…. rebel."

Atton threw his head back and laughed. "You snuck out and did parties, did you!"

She laughed and held her head out and slouched a little. "Yeaaah"

He looked at her curiously, "You don't regret a moment do you?"

"Not even one." She laughed and he joined in as they stepped onto the Ebon Hawke.

X.x.X.x

Atton flopped down into his pilots chair and sighed in relief as he kicked his feet up onto the dashboard, careful to not hit any buttons or switches in the process. 'Rebel, ha'. He thought.

"A rebel indeed" Kreia's dark voice sounded behind him and Atton had to catch himself before he fell over in his chair.

"Get out of here old hag." Atton bit out and tried to get comfortable again, attempting to show her he didn't care.

"I find it rather amusing that you think that by making her like you… that she'll understand your past?" She chuckled darkly, "That she'll forgive you of your murdering past?"

Atton growled. "Just shut up."

"You killed her kind for fun, not just because it was a job, you enjoyed it. And yet here you are… trying to be her friend… as though she likes you." She continued. Atton shot to his feet and squared off to the older woman. "What are you playing at?"

She took a step closer and was nearly on top of him, "Stop putting things in her head. Emotion is not something she should be considering at a time like this. Keep your distance, Murderer."

"Or what?" He hissed.

A sudden rush went to his head and he grabbed the sides of his skull and squeezed trying to suppress the pain, when it didn't stop he fell to his knees and hands at Kreia's feet. "Do not test my patience, pawn. It will not end well for you."

"Get out of my head" He grunted.

All at once, Kreia was gone and the pain subsided, leaving a ringing noise in the man's ears.

He growled and rose to his feet, unsure of what to say or do he fled to the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror.

X.x.X.x

Juliaana had sat down in the middle of her quarters, her lightsaber out in front of her she closed her eyes and lifted it with the force. As she began to de assemble the powerful weapon she opened her eyes and watched it come apart, re learning all the mechanisms and pieces to the complex gadget and as she heard someone coming she allowed it to all go together again and let it fall into her hands.

The door opened and Kreia stepped in, though the presence of the older woman was heavier than usual. "What's happened?" the young Jedi asked as she stood to face her tutor.

"To what, are you referring to?" Kreia asked.

Juliaana made a face and held her head higher and pushed past the woman and went to the cockpit only to find it empty. As she was walking back to the star map she passed Mira, "Did you see Atton?" She asked, "Yeah, went sprinting to the shitter a little bit ago… you gotta go you gotta go" She shrugged and Juliaana frowned. "Thanks Mira." She said and made her way towards the bathroom.

Mira watched Juliaana leave and shrugged, "Whatever" She said, turning back and walked straight to the cock pit where she'd been heading.

The door was unlocked surprisingly and slid open when she neared it. In front of the sink was Atton, hands on either side and staring at himself in the mirror a scowl on his face. "Atton?"

"What do you want?" He hissed.

Juliaana flinched. "What happened?"

"You wouldn't understand, you always think she's right!" He shouted. Juliaana looked surprised. "That's not true Atton and you know it."

"Do I?" The angry gunslinger shouted and looked at her in the mirror. She was standing a little off to his right so that he could she her over his shoulder in the reflection.

She furrowed her brows. "Talk to me…" She insisted softly.

"About what?" He laughed angrily, finally turning to face her his arms spread out wide. "About how I can't leave because you? Or how everybody on this ship absolutely hates me for reasons that I don't know… Or maybe it's how you drive me absolutely _crazy_ but the last thing I am capable of doing is leaving you because I worry myself sick over whether you're safe. Or how about how Kreia won't get out of my head for even just _one _moment!"

Juliaana was frozen in shock her mouth slightly agape.

"Yeah, I didn't think so." He bit out and turned back around. "You want to know why I hate Jedi's so much? Why I hate Sith though too?"

"'cus you're old fashioned?" She offered silently.

He laughed bitterly. "No, it's because…" Juliaana held up her hand. "Atton stop."

"Why?" he turned around. "You're the one who said you wanted to talk!"

"You're not rea-"

"Who are you to decided what I can and can't do? Am I _your _pawn too now?"

"Atton, stop…"

"Yeah you Jedi folk are all the same" He hissed and took a step closer to her and she resisted moving away. "All have your little _mind _games" He motioned to his head, making spinning motions with his fingers. "You like to play with people." He finished. "You know, I bet you don't even like me… just use me for what I can give you!"

"Atton…"

"You know when you got captured, I about lost my mind. You probably laughed when you saw me and Visas show up to 'rescue' you… didn't you."

"Atton what are you talking about? I am more than grateful for everything you've done for me… I never would have made it this far without you."

"Damn straight." He continued to walk up to her and this time she couldn't help but step back from him. "See you don't even trust me"

"Atton, you're not yourself right now… what's gotten into you?"

He paused, his eyes going wide and he pointed to the front of his head. "Kreia… she's in here and she won't let me go" He said in a dangerously low voice. Then, all at once his demeanor changed, his face went from menacing and a scowl to a defeated and a frown. "She's driving me crazy…" He whispered.

"I'll talk to her…" Juliaana whispered and took a step closer placing a careful hand on the side of his face. He leaned into her touch and sighed. "Talking won't change anything Juliaana…" He said quietly.

"You'd be surprised…" She offered a small smile which quickly turned into a frown,

"No I won't be" He shot back, she removed her hand quickly. "Talking doesn't fix anything…" He lowered his voice and bowed his head so that his forehead was almost touching hers. "It doesn't bring back any of the lives I've taken."

"We've all taken lives Atton, it comes with the job…"

"That's what the sith said…"

Juliaana gasped, "Wha-"

"I worked with the sith, Julie… I killed Jedi for my job… was good at it too. I knew what to say to make them slow down… let down their guard… and just when they were vulnerable I would strike… I killed good people…"

Juliaana stepped back. "What?"

Atton looked up, pure agony covered his face. "I'm sorry… I'm not proud of what I did… a Jedi Guardian showed me the light though… she showed me what I needed to see." He sighed. "I didn't want to see it then, it made me angry made me strike her down like the others… but I needed to."

Juliaana held her head higher and breathed heavily. "You… why?"

"I don't know why, the money maybe? I don't know… I'm sorry… I'm a different person now… it started because of her… but because of you I can say I know it'll never happen again."

Juliaana studied his face carefully, "Why are you tell me this?"

He looked down, "Because you deserve to know." He sighed and shook his head, "I'm not that man anymore… I don't want to be either. It's just… Kreia… she's fucking with my head. Making me think things…" Juliaana stepped closer to him again and cupped his face in her hands. "I can't do this anymore." He whispered, tears in his eyes.

Juliaana gasped, this man. Atton Rand, strong, smart, witty, willed, and determined was breaking in front of her eyes over something that was long over. It broke her heart to see him like this, he lowered his head to her shoulder and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he wrapped his around her waist. "you're going to be okay…" She whispered in his ear, stroking the back of his head as she did.

"Forgive me…" He breathed and she nodded and pressed her cheek against his, her lips brushing against his ear when she spoke, "I forgive you…"

The broken man seemed to turn to gel at that moment as he relaxed. "Thank you." He said quietly and gave her a tight but careful squeeze. She smiled and pulled away and took his hands in hers. "Of course"

At that moment the door slid open and the Disciple stood in the doorway. "Ah'm sorry… am I interrupting something?" he said with his usual accent. "Yeah, yeah you are actually." Atton said irritated.

Juliaana smiled innocently and led Atton out by the hand, "It's all yours, Mical" She said sweetly and then turned back to Atton, "Let's get off this planet" She offered and he nodded. "Yeah…"

She turned to walk away when he grabbed her gently by the arm. "Thank you… again."

Juliaana flashed a small smile and walked up to him quickly - cupped the side of his face again with her hand and gave him a small kiss on the corner of his mouth. "Any time"

Atton released her arm and she took the opportunity to go back to her quarters to speak to Kreia. Blushing the scoundrel went back to the cockpit with a goofy grin on his face.

When she got back, Kreia was not there, causing her to frown.

Atton's grin turned into a scowl when he saw who was waiting for him, "If you think you are free now, Murderer, you are wrong."

"No I'm not. She trusts me, forgave me. You were wrong." He smirked and pushed past her to get to his chair.

Expecting a comeback he waited but none came instead there was silence, he turned around only to find she had left.

X.x.X.x

Juliaana sat in the middle of her quarters again, waiting for Kreia when she came back she opened her eyes but did not stand. "Leave him alone, stay out of his head… and stop putting thoughts into my crews head."

Kreia stood defiant behind her student, her head held high as Juliaana herself did. "As you wish, though I do not believe your feelings for the fool are justified."

"My feelings for any of my friends are not of your concern." Juliaana stood quickly.

"Now they are your friends, not companions." Kreia shot back, earning her a glare from the Jedi.

Throwing her hair over her shoulder Juliaana stood her ground. "I do not want to discuss this any further with you, ever. You will leave Atton and my crew alone from this moment further."

"Very well." Kreia said in a low tone and walked out of the room to the quarters across the way.

X.x.X.x

That night Juliaana laid in bed unable to sleep when her door opened. She sat up and looked towards the door where a single figure stood in the doorway, "You awake?" It asked and she nodded, "Hello?" She mentally slapped herself, it was completely dark in here, how would he have seen that. "yeah I'm up… what are you doing?"

Atton stepped further into the room and the door closed behind him. "Couldn't sleep…" he said and came up to the bed. Juliaana sat up completely in the bed and patted the spot next to her. Atton took the spot and sighed.

"What's bothering you?" She asked softly

"I keep seeing faces…" He frowned. Taking his hand gently she waited for him to continue. "When I close my eyes… I see myself walking down a hallway. I'm wearing black robes and then I turn down a corridor, and all of a sudden everything gets really fuzzy. Then these… ghosts start to walk up to me and they… they start talking to me…" He took a deep breath.

Juliaana rubbed her thumb up and down the back of his hand, "Do you recognize them?"

He nodded, "Every one of them."

"Who are they?"

"The Jedi's I killed."He whispered.

Frowning Juliaana pulled his head down so that he was resting on her lap and she stroked his hair back soothingly. "It's okay…" She whispered and Atton brought his hand up to her arm holding her in a vice grip as he began to shake, tears streaming down his face.

They fell asleep that way, his head laying on her lap and holding her close while she held him her head back, laying against the wall.

X.x.X.x

The next morning, Mira had brought them into port at Dantooine and when Juliaana woke, Atton was gone. She looked around the ship but couldn't find him, so she set out onto the planet to look, using the force as her guide.

It wasn't long after she found him, sitting on the hillside near the crystal caves where the kath hounds pranced around, wrestling, sleeping, and just walking around. She smiled and walked up quietly behind him and then spoke up, "This spot taken?" She asked, indicating to a spot next to him.

"Huh?" he looked up at her, squinting against the sun, "Oh yeah, sure."

He looked different, his vest was gone, and so were his gloves, just wearing the white undershirt which was unbuttoned part way so she could see part of his chest and smiled.

She had changed too, only wearing civilian clothes, with slip on shoes. Sliding her shoes off and setting them beside her, on the side that Atton wasn't on she sat next to him and smiled, "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked quietly, watching the younger kath hounds playing a game of tag while the older ones simply watched from the shade.

"That obvious huh?"

She smirked, "Call it a hunch." She said as she played with the grass between her toes, it felt cool and comforting.

He chuckled, but then grew quiet. "it's hard for me to let it go… to move on."

"Do you want me to show you how?" She offered, looking over at him.

He looked over at her curiously, "what?"

"Finding inner piece… it helps with that." She said softly. "And through peace…"

"The force."

She nodded and he sighed, looking away from her to the kath hounds again. "Do you really think I can do it?" He asked, his tone of voice breaking her heart. The broken man sounded hopeless and desperate, but still unsure.

"I know you can…" She whispered and placed her hand at the base of his neck and he smiled. "Then I would love to learn."

She smiled and he smiled in return and she stood, taking his hand in hers and helping him up. "First, just close your eyes…" She began, the wind blowing through the hills, adding to the already tranquil setting.

She watched as Atton began his first steps into becoming a Jedi and smiled, he would do this, and become one of the greatest Jedi's known, she could feel it.

Atton was no fool, Kreia was.

X.x.X.x

_**Pictures used from beginning to end, **_

_** All of these pictures can be found in Cally's "Only Exception" music video (another good reason to check her channel out!) ** __ watch?v=NeWjJpWRlOE__ (don't forget to watch her other videos!)_

_~ Bar scene – Picture of Atton and Exile sitting at a bar, Exile with the drink. (2:46 in video)_

_~ Dance scene – Picture of Exile dancing rather sensually with Atton (2:20 In video)_

_~ Walking back to the Ebon Hawke –Picture of Atton and Exile laughing and walking (1: 25 in video)_

_** wanted to put the mirror picture in the story where he punches the mirror and Exile heals his hand but it didn't fit… sorry (would have been; 4:38 and 2:07 in video)_

_~ Atton crying in Exiles lap – Picture of Exile holding Atton (:27 in video)_

_~ Hill top conversation - fs24/f/2008/016/4/2/KOTOR_2_Atton_and_Exile_by_ _

_X.x.X.x_

_Okay there you go. Kinda lame ending but I was getting kinda tired of writing it… I didn't quite get to put in all the things I wanted to, but I still think it turned out okay._

_Hope you all liked it._

_Please review, it takes like 30 seconds. Thank you._


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